Yeah after all the shopping, sales, the deals to get someone a gift is like hunting for that perfect gift. I hate shopping, I hate getting up and go to the store spend so much time at the store and wait for mommy dearest to decide what to get for who. In the past I thought it would be great, I thought that maybe it would be okay to give and receive, but that was when I was in junior high through high school. Now in reality I see a whole different picture. I now know its more of a you did this for me so I have to repay you kind of thing. This year i also notice the more you grow up the harder it is to understand that your not gonna get so much presents this year. Which to me I say its a bunch a Bull@#$% yeah. I loved when I would wake up in the morning and scream "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" I would race with my brother and group up which ones are my presents and his presents. I would than call all my relatives and wish them a Merry Christmas. Christmas to me still means to reminds those that you remember them and care enough to call and wish them a Merry Christmas. Its not the gifts, the money, or the wanting something for yourself.
Right now I admit, I wish I could go to church and listen to the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. I mean yeah I used to be a strong religious Catholic girl. But I don't really like going to church anymore because I believe to preach out the words of god, or the holy Scriptures the "father" must feel it. To make us the people of God to Feel something after mass. Since the "father" that I once knew and remember I love to listen and later I felt the words of God. But now we have a new preacher and I refuse to go and listen to his words, because they are not fulfilling, it doesn't capture my attention. I once thought God give those that have been faithful and have been a great caring person. Right now I feel like its all a lie, I know a man who has never done anything bad in his life. Has never lied as long as I known him (which has been my whole life) He has been great, strong, generous, caring, honest, and everything you can think of, is now a man of weak, sick, sad, angry, depressed. Why God? Why is my dad a man of sickness a man that has worked so hard to get all his brothers, sisters and his mother to get here. A great man that worked for a low pay and help his wife to buy a house for a daughter and son. A strong man to work two job, when he knew that he was feeling weak. A man that now cannot work, because he loves to work hard and try and help his family as much as he can, but now feels like he's a thorn to the family. Why God?
Yeah, I was wondering why do bad things happen to Good people?
Why do SOME bad people get good things happened to them?
Karma? Luck? Hard work? faith? I don't know anymore.....
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